Monday, October 16, 2006

Reform Education NOW! Please......

So basically, professors need to learn what is important and what is not. Penn State professors (not all, but most) seem to think that what is important is the ability to memorize every stupid little statistic, fact, and mind numbingly stupid figure. I could go on for a couple hours in explanation of this, but here is a short example.

My Women's Studies (rape) midterm was stupid. All it tested was your ability to memorize the exact percentages of women raped, men raped, spousal rapes, etc.. But knowing the exact numbers aren't important. What is important is understanding the theories that explain these numbers and being able to apply them. So, since I studied that and focused on being analytical instead just mindlessly memorizing shit, I didn't do so well (21/30). Jesus H Christ in a chicken basket. In the real world I will be the one getting ahead because I know how to siphon out important material from the infinite amount of bullshit.

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Tired

You know what? I am tired. Tired of feeling like I am fat. Yes, I know. I am not fat. But I do have a healthy "blanket of warmth" around my midsection. It is the last remaining reminder of a life-long struggle with weight.

I once pegged the scales at 250. Now I am 165. As amazing as that is I want to know what it feels like to be in "peak form". I want to know what 8% or less bodyfat feels like. I want to know what it feels like to have a six-pack. Or at least ab muscles that are defined enough to be seen. All that stands in my way, at least in my mind, is the last layer of blubber.

This winter has to be when it comes off. It is now or never.

However, this is too thin. Poor George looks like a bobblehead.

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Need to write

So no one reads this. I need to write and at least when I dump my words here I feel like they are allowed to escape my head and quiet my troubled mind.

Took the LSAT's yesterday. I am scared. The LSAT did not put up a very good fight, which usually means I fooled myself into thinking that I did wonderfully. Not quite sure why I took them. Security I suppose. There was I time I thought I wanted to go to law school- now its about securing a future education when nothing else works out.

I think I've outstayed my welcome at school. Education and myself are not playing well together latley. I found my way into this rut where either a class is pretty useless to my development as a learned person or some basic algebra threatens to ruin my chance at succeeding. I am so tired of worrying about grades. I am even more tired of doing menial tasks that lend nothing to coprehension or skill development.

I just want to learn for the sake of learning. I want to be well versed in everything and a master of a few disciplines. I want to earn a living where I don't have to worry about money or bills. I want to be able to play with the expensive toys that those who can afford them can't use them as intented. I want to help those less fortunate than I. I want to make other people's lives better. I want to be simple. I want to race my bike at the highest possible level. I want to be a struggling, poor, pro athlete to accomplish said level. I want to be that guy who eats organic foods, is super lean, and reads philosophy while he recovers from an 8-hour training ride. I am a wealth of contradiction, a hopeless romantic, an entrepenuer waiting to escape, a talented athlete(?).

I will leave this world with something. Something bigger than me. I just don't know what.