Need to write

So no one reads this. I need to write and at least when I dump my words here I feel like they are allowed to escape my head and quiet my troubled mind.

Took the LSAT's yesterday. I am scared. The LSAT did not put up a very good fight, which usually means I fooled myself into thinking that I did wonderfully. Not quite sure why I took them. Security I suppose. There was I time I thought I wanted to go to law school- now its about securing a future education when nothing else works out.

I think I've outstayed my welcome at school. Education and myself are not playing well together latley. I found my way into this rut where either a class is pretty useless to my development as a learned person or some basic algebra threatens to ruin my chance at succeeding. I am so tired of worrying about grades. I am even more tired of doing menial tasks that lend nothing to coprehension or skill development.

I just want to learn for the sake of learning. I want to be well versed in everything and a master of a few disciplines. I want to earn a living where I don't have to worry about money or bills. I want to be able to play with the expensive toys that those who can afford them can't use them as intented. I want to help those less fortunate than I. I want to make other people's lives better. I want to be simple. I want to race my bike at the highest possible level. I want to be a struggling, poor, pro athlete to accomplish said level. I want to be that guy who eats organic foods, is super lean, and reads philosophy while he recovers from an 8-hour training ride. I am a wealth of contradiction, a hopeless romantic, an entrepenuer waiting to escape, a talented athlete(?).

I will leave this world with something. Something bigger than me. I just don't know what.