Arrivee

What I want to say is phrased very eloquently in my head, but I realize I will not get them out so cleanly. So I apologize if I fumble at the words like a pimply faced teenager asking a girl out for the first time.

There are periods in our lives when we truly are in hell. The problem with being in hell is not what you go through as you are there. The problem is the person it turns you into while you are there and how it clouds your clarity such that you don't even know it that you've become someone you wouldn't recognize.

During these times, some of us are fortunate to have someone in your life that stays by your side regardless of how trying that becomes. Unfortunately, we don't realize that sometimes we don't treat these people as the angels that they truly are. We don't see how the pain we are going through changes our behaviors. The effect of our suffering runs so deep that we no longer have the capacity to express positive emotions and we end up poisoning our lives and the relationships with these angels with the pain we can't seem to shake.

These angels try to let us know we are hurting them, but pain is a selfish emotion. We know we are hurting them and we desperately don't want to, but the pain doesn't allow us to consider the severity of the consequences of our actions on others. We can react so negatively to positive things that its nauseating. We get so mad about stupid trivial things that outside of hell, we would be able to laugh off.

One day, the angel can no longer take it. We've coated their wings with the black oil of our negativity. Eventually, we leave hell. We go back to being the person we were and our friends and loved ones truly love and appreciate. However, sometimes this is too late for the angel and that angel finally leaves to cleanse their wings of your poison.

You can't blame them, really. You just wish, harder than you've ever wished before, that you would have had the clarity to see what you were doing and you would do anything- ANYTHING to go back. To see the hurt your pain was causing in others. To see how you reacted so stupidly to so many things. How the best things in your life, you drove away.

Unfortunately, as a cruel twist of life, we sometimes lack the ability to save the things we need the most until they are past the point of saving. We reach the Arrivee banner a little too late. Your fans have long since left. Underneath the Arrivee banner we can look back on the roads that got us there. We can see what we've done, what we should have done, and what we need to do.

The lesson is this- every night, force yourself to stand underneath an Arrivee banner so you can gain the clarity you need to keep your angel close. Even in Hell, the banners exist, though they are so, so hard to find. As you sit there at the end of the day looking back at the path you just traveled, think about how your every action impacts those around you. Think about the great things people are doing for you that you never notice. And notice that the things you think you dislike or irritate you are the first things you will miss with all your being when they are gone.

Pics...

Holy Shit!

Better Pictures to come, but to cap off one of the most horrible last 3 days, my prized possession, my Colnago frame, met its demise today.

You can't see it in this picture, but a steel wire, about the gauge of a spoke, with hooks on either end found its way into my wheel and hooked onto the spokes, wrapping around the chain and derailleur, thus ripping the derailleur and hanger from the bike. The hanger is not replaceable, therefore the frame is toast.

Inspired by Drunkcyclist...

a Haiku

Cold wet icy roads
Punish me for miles and miles-
It keeps my soul warm.

The mystery pooper

So every morning around 9 or 10 I make my way to the Men's room in search of a welcoming stall to perform my daily duties (pun intended).

Every so often, I swing open a stall door only to find a large turd sitting in the bowl. Immediately I am upset that there is someone in this company with no respect for his fellow man. But then it becomes a mystery. Because not only is there a giant turd floating in the bowl unchecked, but there is NO TOILET PAPER mingling with the offending bowel movement.

This means that some sick bastard sits down, takes a dump, says "You know what? I don't need to wipe my ass and because of that, I don't even need to flush." I'm sure the offender doesn't wash his hands either, because he didn't have to get his digits near his rectum.

I am totally at a loss here. I can't figure this one out. What is the motivation? Does he leave shit streaks on all his clothing? At one point I thought, maybe this dude is so proud at his ability to "ghost" a turd every time, that he has to show it off. But then I came across several instances where the turd was clearly not ghost-able. At least by modern standards.

Anyone got any ideas on this one? Its freakin' me out.

Spotted at the Mall

If I had time, I would have gone and talked to the guy. An old guy like that has some stories for certain.

A little backtracking race reports..

I owe you guys these...but since they are so old now, they will be short.

PA CX State Champs B race - Really cool course, hope it comes back next year only bigger. From the gun Colin Prensky takes off and I take off in pursuit. Couldn't quite close the gap. Zach Adams bridged up to me and then up to Colin leaving me still in pursuit. On the 3rd lap, I catch (they let me catch) Colin and Zach and ride their wheels until the penultimate lap through the barriers. I focused on NOT crashing so much that I stared at the barriers until I rode right into them. It only cost me a couple seconds, but it was enough to shatter me. So I soloed in for 3rd. Zach and Colin were killin' it.

Staten Island CX B Race - AWESOME course. Weather was just what cross should be - absolutely atrocious. Rain, wind, cold, tons of sloppy sloppy mud and a beach run. On the first lap, Colin and I get a good little gap. 2nd lap I crash hardcore because I had two pairs of gloves one and my hands popped off the hoods riding through a culvert. Once catching back on, we just drilled it all the way home. Colin dropped me like bad habit in the last 200 meters. The atmosphere around this race was amazing. They had killer handmade trophies and Belgian waffles (pics to come). And like 50lbs of bacon.

Phillipsburg Riverfront Cross - Props to Bill for putting on a great race. The course was awesome and it was well put together. Its too bad his race was the same day the big MAC race in Reston, VA. Turnout was low, but it still was great. I knew I had to continue my progression from 3rd, to 2nd, and to 1st. So I went as hard as I could right off the line and never looked back. Soloed in for 1st I think about a minute 30 ahead of 2nd place. Finally got to put the arms up in victory salute, even if I did have a retarded looking face. Props to Lou Devlin for coming out and doing well in his first cross race.

The real excitement came from the A race which I jumped right into after my race. I was sweaty from the first race and it was getting colder and windier out. Around the 4th lap, I smelled hot dogs at the top of the run up where all the heckling was taking place. So I yelled "get me a hot dog!" The next lap, my buddy Sam, had a hot dog and PBR waiting to hand me. I grabbed the hot dog, shoved it down my throat, and took the PBR and chugged it as I rode the next half lap or so. Beer and a hot dog had never tasted so good! I was bonking hardcore at that point and I think those are the only things that saved me enough so I could finish. I still have mustard stains on my bar tape and hoods.

Gotta ease into this...

...so I don't blow my wad too early.

Wow I let this thing lapse. It has been lonely without you guys.

Lets see....Cross season finished really well. 3rd at PA State CX Champs, 2nd the next day at Staten Island, and 1st the following weekend at P-Burg. Can't complain for my first season of cross.

Starting to rack up the miles for the upcoming season. Spent 4 hours in the saddle yesterday on the 'cross bike on the road. Knobbies on the road are great when its cold as hell, windy, and icy/wet. You go much slower for the same effort and cadence, so you don't get as cold.

At one point the road was completely iced, so I had to ride in the adjacent field. The field was also iced over, but the surface was bumpy and rough enough to garner some small amount of traction.

Have lots to say and have some good pics to post. I also have to talk about the beer and hot dog feed in the P-Burg A race. But like I said, don't wanna lose it too soon.