Hiatus

So I guess I have some race reports to catch up on - Mercer Cup and Whitmore's -but before I do, I gotta vent about something (warning, profanitly laced post).

I've spent many hours of my life in gyms and gym locker rooms. I understand that a locker room is a place for getting naked. However, many guys take this freedom too, too far. And its always the old, really fat, really hairy, utterly disgusting guys. Not that being fat and really hairy makes you disgusting, cause I am quite hairy and was once very fat, its your actions when you happen to have those characteristics. Let me explain.

When you change in the locker room, its OK to get naked, then put on your workout clothing or street clothes, whatever. The only other place you should buck naked is in the shower and MAYBE the scale. There is no walking around, walking to the shower, combing your hair in front of the mirror, or doing calisthenics naked!

I always see these old fat bastards with their tiny shriveled little penis heads barely protruding from the fat enveloping their waste waddling around making it obvious they want everyone there to see how comfortable they are being naked. Now, you are probably saying, "Dude, why are you looking close enough to notice that their tiny dicks barely stick out from their lard?" Well my answer is this - when you watch Apes fuck on the Discovery channel, its not dirty cause they are apes, though it still makes you feel uneasy like there is something wrong with you for watching...but ultimately you learn something, so its OK.

Last night some FPOS (fat piece of shit) walked to the shower naked with his towel in his hand at his side. DUDE! You have the towel right there! Just wrap that shit up! Then to further make me want to spoon my eyes out, he comes back from the shower dripping wet. He couldn't even towel off at the shower. He got back to his locker and started to dry off, making sure to put one leg up on the bench and spread his ass so he could dry out down below.

I've seen guys do full stretch routines naked, talk to their buddies while sitting Indian style and scratch their ass and grunt in front of the mirror completely fucking naked with no regard for their fellow man.

My question is this - what makes these old fat dudes do this? My best guess is that they feel so emasculated in every other aspect of there life- whether it be at work getting yelled at by their younger and smarter boss, getting yelled at by their wife while not ever getting any ass, or watching their stock broker take all the money - that they have to somehow assert that they are, in fact, all that is man.

But the truth is, a man knows when to not shove his shit in another man's face. You never see the truly ripped, Adonis looking guys who are dedicated to their fitness and physique doing that unnecessary bullshit.

There is a time and place for whipping it out. Right Turner?

"Incidentally....

...we noticed that Americans like to drink beer and then talk about how they like to drink beer, as though liking to drink beer is something cool and exclusive."

Perfect quote. From http://www.deraileduk.com/

Keep it dark

Another ride in the dark last night. Looking froward to another one tonight. I love riding at night. Hopefully sometime soon I'll have to slap my fenders on. Did I mention I like adverse conditions?

I was going to meet up with YAMBA, the local mountain bike club, for a night right on the trails tonight, but these antibiotics have my muscles all tight and I don't want to snap an achilles. And since mountain biking is basically just a serious of massive power intervals, especially here where the landscape is dominated by short steep peaks, I'll stick to easy cruising on the road for a bit.

So sick and tired of having all sorts of training interrupted regularly about every 2-3 weeks by illness, work, or my legs just plain taking a crap because they suck now. What a bunch of shit.

Check out this video I got from DrunkCyclist. Maybe if I don't get my arteries fixed I'll turn to this...

History of tax brackets

See Turner's Post to see how the wealthy really did use to pay their share.

LIGHTS! (continued)

There are no other lights in the garage. Its not the best way to show how awesome these things are, but you get the point.

Let there be (lifesaving) Light!

Just finished my first night ride on my new DiNotte lights. Best. Purchase. Ever.



I purchased the 600L headlight and the 140L taillight. The rear light in particular is a lifesaver. It lays out so much light its crazy. Cars have never stayed further away from me, day or night. I keep it on steady mode as there is a lot of evidence that says that a blinking tail light attracts drivers and they get closer to you - the moth to a flame effect. And I believe it.



Cars were certainly erring on the side of getting dangerously close to oncoming traffic. Which is a change. I rode in a lot of traffic and not once felt uncomfortable.

The headlight is spectacular, too. The whole road lights up like I've got HID car headlights. The beam patter is near perfect, too. There is a nice concentration where you want it, but also a nice broad spread to catch all the peripheral shit.

I'll get some good pics up soon. These things rock.

Election Day should be a Holiday

Election Day should be a national holiday.

It's more important to the health of our nation than any other holiday or day of the year. So make it a federal holiday. Businesses would be closed- no one would have to miss work.

While we are at it, make it a giant celebration. Lower the drinking age to 18 so Soldiers can legally get a drink. Keep the bars open all night starting midnight the day of election day. Cities will have fireworks. Frats will have keggers. There will be parades.

Also, why do you have to register? Honestly its just a barrier to keeping the lower classes (and often less enthused) from voting. If you can show ID in any form that shows you are a citizen (SS Card, Drivers License, Birth Certificate, Green Card), then you should be able to vote. Why add the extra steps????

KBS 'Cross Report

So, I manned up and got back in the saddle and raced the Kelly Benefits Strategies 'Cross race.

I need more blood! My legs just shit out after a couple laps. Once again I was with the leaders for the first couple laps and then I just couldn't hold pace at all. I started dropping back, got passed by a couple guys and then Evan Fader caught me and I got on his wheel for the last 3 laps.

Somewhere around the end of lap 2 I downshifted pretty hard at a bad moment and tweaked my deraileur. Never done anything like that before. So for the next few laps the chain would pop off of the casssette under power every couple crank revolutions. So I had to stay in the saddle and stay smooth - that cost me good time for sure.

I pulled a pretty stupid move in the sandpit that cost Fader a bunch of positions which I felt pretty bad about, but that's racing. He was trying to ride the sandpit and was getting through it, although losing time for sure, and I ran up on his inside carrying my momentum and just plowed into him. I think that if I didn't knock Fader of his bike he might have been able to catch the leaders and I might have been able to drag on his wheel. Maybe.

Oh well. Came in for 6th.

Freakin' Great Ride....

It makes no sense.

I was supposed to race Cross today, but I've been having this problem the last week where every night I wake up in a sweat. I mean completely drenched. Me and the bed. So its hard to go back to sleep when your bed is soaking wet. I've also had this problem on and off for the last several months.

Well last night I woke up withe same thing and my chest hurt kinda badly. So I was freaked out. When the alarm went off at 6am I felt like shit, probably because I was dehydrated from sweating, and decided to not race since I had been sick for the past two weeks and didn't want to have a shitty Fall riding season because I pushed it too hard too soon.

So I decided to go for a little ride around 11am. Holy shit. I felt fantastic. No chain day. Best I have felt since Collegiate Nationals May '07. Legs turned over nice and smooth. I was bombing descents and railing turns faster than I had in a long time. The bike felt perfectly comfortable. And I was pushing 2-3 gears higher for a given effort than I have been as of late.

What gives? I mean, its nice to have such a great ride and the weather was mind-blowingly perfect, but if I could have used that for a race?! Oh well....

It was a beautiful day. I wish I could have video cameras hooked directly to my eyes and record the whole ride and play it back at will just to capture that feeling. It would be great for a trainer workout. Something about fall rides...I think because the sun is lower in the sky so the light is a little more orange..its like a day-long sunset.

Cancel It Out

Teammate needed

http://www.bcbikerace.com/

Who wants to be my teammate? It's only an $1800 entry fee.

Fixie Lovin'

Took the Langster out for 1.5 hours. Wasn't quite that cold like yesterday when the computer read 35 degrees in the last half of the ride, but there was some cold wind floating around.

Riding the fixed gear is a blast. I used to have one and I forgot how cool it is. I only had one oh shit moment when I forgot you can't coast. You see, on a fixed gear a funny thing happens when you go to lock your leg at the bottom of the stroke. The rear wheel comes flying of the ground intent on throwing you over the handlebars. I am unsure of the physics behind this, but rest assured it is sphincter clenching experience.

So here I am reaching for my cell in my jersey pocket to check the time and see how much daylight is left when I forget to keep pedaling. So I am in traffic with one hand on the bars and one in my back jersey pocket. I somehow didn't crash and roll underneath a pick-up truck, but I did have to ride through a few front lawns to save it.


Also, for those like me who hate wearing gloves and wait until its is absolutely necessary to preserve your digits, Burt's Bees Hand Salve is perfect. Slap it on your hands before you ride and it keeps your skin from cracking and bleeding. I love the feeling of coming in from a cold ride and your skin bursts into flames as it tries to heat back up. Seriously. I enjoy it. Also I enjoy Burt's Bee's Lifeguard lip balm - it leaves your lips looking like your near death but the wind won't rip them open.


I've also got a good beard going to keep the face warm. It really makes a difference. I also got a great set of Dinotte lights coming tomorrow so when daylight savings is over this weekend, I can ride after work with a little less fear of death.

Blogging is like training

When you interrupt the flow, its hard to get started again. So tonight I will blog once again after I take my new fixed gear out for a spin.

In the meantime:

Gotta play catch up

Got some racing to tell ya'll about and the Misfits concert. I've been sick as hell, but will update soon.

In the meantime read this shit. This is the stuff that scares the hell out of me.

VeloNews article

New Blog

I will be creating a new blog that I will write in, in addition to this one.

The purpose of the new blog will be to raise awareness for the iliac artery problems I experienced as a result of cycling. I will discuss all the tests, surgery(s), follow ups, and complications I have experienced and discuss the various schools of thought and techniques used to combat this issue.

There is a lack of information easily available about this condition and there are lots more people suffering from this than anybody probably guesses. Hopefully I can provide some people with the information and experiences I wish I had a my disposal before going under the knife.

I will try my best to keep the discussion neutral and not bring in all of my emotions around the topic. Once I get some info up there, start clicking and spreading the word.

Sunday Night at the grocery store

So, here we have an infuriating case of HCWDB.



What makes this so infuriating? The headband! WTF? The only white guys who can get away with that are bald, have gigantic arms, or Brett Michaels.

This tool was seen with his trophy wife checking out. They obviously just came back from the gym or a run together. She was really fit and toned, which I was actually impressed by as she looked like the kinda chick that liked to be spoon fed breakfast in bed.

As you can notice in the photo, he suffers from chronic forgetting to also workout my leg muscles cause all chicks see is my arms - itis. I thought this affliction was limited to frat head fucks at Penn State, but I guess it has spread. He stayed in the above position the whole time, making a point to show everyone around he didn't have help his woman with the groceries- thats the bitch's job!

Check it...

http://bikepennst8.blogspot.com/2008/10/lemond.html

Awe of Mountain Biking

I went for a pretty awesome Mountain Bike ride last night at the Lakes. I went around Lake Redman so I could ride trail 7, which is probably the most bad ass trail in the area. It used to be known as the Goat Trail as parts are very narrow, off camber, and very technical with roots and loose rocks. Like the kind of trail you see mountain goats screwing around on and are like, "damn, how do they do that?"

As I am climbing this trail, I think to myself, this is pretty incredible. Its amazing I can actually ride a bike up this shit. I am in awe of the fact that the tires can get enough grip, that the front end will stay on the ground (barely) with how steep it is, that my mind automatically applies the proper body english to keep the bike upright and straight, and that I have the power to muscle up it.

At some point on this trail, you have to go through this tunnel. It is part of the trail and there is no way around it. It goes underneath Route 83. It is about 4 feet high, so you have to get off your bike and walk through it all crouched over. Its also pretty damn long. And dark. And scary.


When I was in 8th grade I first rode this trail with my best friend at the time, Brad. We were out on this trail all alone and come to this tunnel and were scared shitless. We spent a good 20 minutes trying to find the trail that surely went around the tunnel, but no, it didn't exist. So we decided that we would walk through it and I would go first, but he would keep his hand on my back so I knew something didn't eat his ass. About half way through the tunnel we started screaming like little girls and frantically ran like Predator was chasing us.

That tunnel still scares the shit out of me today. So when I went through it last night, I first threw a few rocks in the water to see if anything moved. Then found a big as stick and brought it with me. Its super dark, so you can see what you are walking on and the water is about 8 inches deep. About half way through I still get that damn feeling like something is chasing me. Christ.

I think I'll review my Specialized Stumpjumper 29er next. Why? Cause I am highly critical and hyper-sensitive. Most people think I am crazy, but I really do notice tons of shit most people don't. And I've always wanted to review shit, and if I can't get stuff for free to review, I'll just review my own stuff.

Why Wal Mart Rocks

A lot of people hate on Wal-Mart. But most of the dislike for Wal Mart is very unfounded. Let me just counter a couple popular arguments.

Argument: Wal-Mart's employees don't have insurance. Therefore Wal-Mart is an evil empire.
Counter: Yes, Wal-Mart employees may not have health care, but if it weren't for Wal-Mart, many of the employees would likely not have health care AND NOT have a JOB. Next time you go to Wal-Mart, look around. They hire many people who otherwise would be un-hirable. Like the 400lb morbidly obese lady at customer service whose only job is to sit in a chair. She doesn't even sit behind the service counter! Not to mention the mentally challenged they hire. Find me another company who will hire slow people just to say "Hello" all day long.

Argument: Wal Mart hurts small business.
Counter: You are damn right it does. But the smart companies have learned that you can't "out Wal Mart Wal Mart." So they make a fortune differentiating themselves from Wal-Mart. That's called free market ingenuity and ultimately creates jobs in the end. Plus, the economy as a whole and quality of life of society at large is greater off even with the loss of the small businesses Wal- Mart puts out. This is partly because of the previous argument- people who, without Wal-Mart, would be jobless now have jobs and purchasing power - and partly because Wal-Mart affords people a quality of life they otherwise would not have.

Case in point - a little while ago I was at WalyMart and I overheard this very hard lived looking man say to his friend, "You see WalyMart has computers now? I always wanted one of them there computers, but I never could afford one before. But now I can!" You could tell this dude has lived a hard, hard life. And it nearly brought a tear to my eye when I heard the joy in his voice over this.

And, Wal-Mart creates tons of jobs. Not only at the stores they open, but since they have such great purchasing power, they enable the manufactures of products to produce more products and therefore hire more people. Wait, whats that you say? All the products are made in China so it doesn't help create jobs here? WRONG! Someone has to import, inventory, store, and distribute all the merchandise here in the States. It hires truck drivers, forklift operators, importers, warehouse owners, etc. etc. etc.

Bottom line: If you hate Wal-Mart, its probably because you are well off enough to be in a position to hate Wal-Mart and shop elsewhere. Count your lucky stars.

Potted Meat

Instead of racing this past weekend, I helped Kat move into her new apartment outside NYC.

We stopped in at the local Dollar Store to stock up on some low cost essentials. I tell you what, that is one scary place. I tried in vain to find sugar fags. Seem the only place that has them anymore is Five Below.

Anyway, I did find the following gems:


We also saw this odd fellow at the grocery store. Too bad I couldn't manage a frontal shot, but the creature sports a mohawk, UnderArmour shirt, and giant football padded pants.


From a turnpike rest stop. When you don't someone pissing in a urinal, might as well advertise your tasty uric acid aroma McGriddles!